My computer is totally fucked.  I can't afford to fix it right now so I'm waiting a while.  Kalu just laughed and said he'd never seen anything like it before and that I was fucked.  That's cool.  I didn't really want it anyway.

I went to the high school today.  Everyone identified me as "Maria's sister."  That was weird; it's never happened before.  Creepy.

What if I don't get my job back in the summer?  What will I do?  Ugh why am I already stressed out about something half a year away?  Oh right, it's me.

I bought Ashton this really nice down comforter for X-mas.  Well, it's part of his gift.  He's not here right now so I already put it on his bed and it looks great and it feels great and I can't wait for him to get home and see it. 

We went bowling last night with everyone and I sucked. Two of the worst games of my life!  Ugh.

This is all I guess.

Shannon and I shared a special moment earlier.  Yes, that's right.  We synchronized our clocks and met at the crosswalk at 5:33.  It was below freezing outside so we were attempting to minimize our outside time.  And we were perfect.  We didn't have to slow down a step.  We couldn't have been more prefect.  It was amazing and very special.  

In other news, the finals are half over.  I now have two days off before the first in-class final.  So I'm taking the night off and just watching tv.  It's great.  Also, if anyone's up for a late night Grille visit this week, let me know.  It'll be great.

Emily and I have been watching Harry Potter movies all day on ABC Family.  At the end of each commercial break they show another Behind-the-Scenes clip from the 5th movie!  It's absolutely amazing.  We've been talking about HP all weekend and we've discovered so many great things about the last book.  Anyway, back to my real life.

I've read two books in the past 26 or so hours.  So now I'm taking a break and after dinner I'll write my Anthro essay.  Then one final will be over!  Soc won't be hard since it's another take-home essay (and Pass-Fail).  So soon two.  Updates as I finish.

I love my dinosaur icon.  I took this picture at a museum in Paris.  Yep, there's a dinosaur lurking in the bushes (trees) outside a Parisian musee.  

I want to travel again.  I also want to go home.  Ironic, huh?

I stlil can't sleep.  Last night I lay in bed until 4 am.  It's getting worse and I can't do anything about it.  I'm going to try to go to bed early tonight.  Sleeping pills might help.

I've done all of fifteen minutes of work today and I'm ready to quit.  I wonder how much of this book I really have to read to write this paper.  The sad part is that I really expected my final to be over this book but I still didn't read it when it was assigned.  But I procrastinate.  Especially in this class.  Speaking of procrastinating with something regarding Phyllis, I still need to email her to officiall say I am interested in her trip next January.  I've realized that if I really want to do this trip money's going to be tight for me for the next year and a half.  I think that's something I can live with.  How many other opportunities will I have to hike the Amazon and climb the Andes?  Sometimes I wish that other people were as supportive of my decisions as I want them to be.  But I guess if that were true I wouldn't really understand my own thoughts as well or some crap like that.  

How quickly can six days pass?  I hope quick enough.  I need to get away from here for a while.  The sooner break starts and I can leave Danville the saner I'll be come January.  

I guess I should quit procrastinating and read this book.  If anyone's ever read The Body Silent and wants to save me some time, give me a ring.  I'll be here all day.

What I Am: stressed

Wow.  Sometimes you say things and people just take them completely the wrong way.  It's as if they're trying to pick out the worst I could mean, knowing full well that's not what I'm saying.  I'm glad people know me.

Today's rant: The Cafe.  Know what I hate?  I hate that to get a cup of coffee I have to wait in line behind 4 or 5 people who want blended drinks.  Oh my God... I just want a cup.  Can't I go in front of you?  Getting a cup of coffee shouldn't take 15 minutes.  Jazzman's needs an "Express Lane."  Let me swipe my card, pick up a cup, and be on my way.  That is all.

Tomorrow is the last day this year that I have to wake up at a certain time. 

Sometimes I wish the people close to me were more enthusiastic when I am enthusiastic.

I am very tired of getting spam in my school inbox.  Who did Centre sell our email addresses to for us to have a million junk emails in the past month?  The one I just received begins, "Even as a child, I would draw pictures of foxes and fantasize about being one..."  What kind of weird (and maybe kinky?) email is this?  I refuse to read any further.

I just wrote my sociology paper that's due tomorrow.  I spent an hour on it and refuse even to use spell-check, determined to get some use out of this pass-fail status.  My English class ended today, Anthro ends tomorrow, and Soc and History end Friday.  Thank God for the end of the semester.

Tonight's night two of the One Act Play Festival.  And tomorrow is the last night.  Once again I will have attended each night and seen every play.  I should get a special thanks.  I have significantly fewer friends right before drama productions.  It's okay.  I got all my work finished.  This paper I just wrote is the last thing until finals.  Woot!

It's going to be hard to get back in the swing of writing every day.  I'm already out of things to say and I repeated alot from yesterday.  Sorry.

So I've been told that writing for 20 minutes a day is theraputic, so it looks like I'm going to have to make an effort to write more entries.  I figure this way I'm saving memory on my computer.  I know, cheap reason, but what can you do?

As the semester winds down I'm feeling calmer than every before and it's actually unsettling.  I have a paper due in two days that I haven't started, and I don't really care.  When you're taking a class pass-fail and your grade in it is better than most of your other classes, you tend to stop trying completely.  That's the only thing left for this week.  Finals don't look too ominous for the first time ever.  I have two take-homes for easy subjects, one test for which the essay question has been given to me already, and another one that really doesn't count for too much.  I'm pretty relaxed, I guess.

I know that the warmer weather has been helping me out lately, too.  It's nice to wake up for class and not dread going outside because of the cold.  That's made my mood better the past few days.  Also, today I got a really nice compliment.  A friend told me that an acquaintance of ours told her (I know it seems confusing) that I was really smart.  This person thought that my comments in class were very interesting and original and they thought I was a generally intelligent person.  That definitely made my day.  I think that it impresses me more that he found it important enough to bring up in conversation, but I guess at the same time it's a little weird.  I mean, my friend just admitted that she and a guy I know from class were talking about me.  Flattering, but weird nonetheless.  

In our Notesworthy email  today it said that Thursday Centre's announcing something very exciting about the 2008 Presidential Campaign Debate.  I mean, when you say it like that you don't leave much to the imagination.  I wish I were still going to be here; it would be a really fun environment to watch.  News people are funny.

In other news, I'm now attempting to be less of a controling, anxiety-ridden person... in theory, anyway.  I've made a lot of changes this month.  I wish it were January.  Then I could say that I fulfilled a New Year's Resolution.  I guess I'll have to get creative this year.

Know how much my week's sucked?  This is my second attempt at posting.  My first one froze and went away.  Even technology is turning against me.  What.  The.  Fuck.

So I went to the library earlier to get some more work done.  I know, it's incredible that I've done so much in the past few days.  Two more days of hardcore mode and then I can just coast through the end of the semester.

I would like to take this opportunity to discuss some library ettiquite with you all.  As most of you know, I've had a hellacious few days full of waking up early to study and continuing until midnight (even on a Saturday).  So in order to complete yet another paper today, I decided to journey to the library to read.

Why do people go to the library?  Well it's a decently lit, moderately cool place with few distractions and a couple comfy chairs.  Some people have the false idea that it's quiet, but did you see that on my list?  NO!  This is because the library is in fact the breeding ground of the Centre gossip mill.  Sure, Cowan is great for catching up on the latest slander, but the library is so much better; you can bitch about and put down whoever you want without the fear of their walking up behind you.  Sundays are prime gossip mill time after such a wild and crazy weekend.  And this is why I hate the library.

I found an unoccupied table and set up camp.  As soon as I was "in the zone", these two sorority girls walked up and sat at a table just behind me.  Fine, I can't claim the entire left wing of the library for myself.  But these two girls began talking.  I don't mean the quiet whispering we're all guilty of.   These girls were using thier outside voices.  So, being the passive aggressive Melanie that I am, I gave them a few glares without really knowing how effective they were (I was not wearing contacts or glasses).  On my last turn-around-and-glare move, I received a rude "What?" from the girls.  Last straw.  

So of course I left the library and forfeited my wing to the gossipy sorority girls.  Fine.  I'll work in my room.  But it's not like there arne't a million other places on campus these girls could go to.  The Warehouse, Cafe, and all dorm lobbies are open on Sundays.  Go to the Hub.  Get DPS to let you into Olin.  I mean, if you want to talk in the library, fine.  Get a study room.  Some people go to the library because they need a quiet place to study.  Surely by now we are all old enough that we should have been taught proper library ettiquite by now.  In first grade I believe most of us were taken by our teachers to our elementary school library and told that in this particular place, quiet was a law.  Aren't there signs that say "SShhhh!"?

So I ask that the next time you are in the library, remember back to what you learned in first grade.  Surely as Centre students we are all smart enough to realize that there are other people in the world, and even the library.

Here is a funny Dave Barry article about golf.

( Pro golf: A game of non-stop boredom )

Anyway, life is fine.  I got all the classes I wanted for spring.  I'm having a career crisis, though.

Taking a semester off from the Centre campus/ bubble really does a number on one. I figured that coming back to campus would be this amazing reunion, but in all reality, I feel like I don't know this place. Everything is weird. I don't know anyone, I don't do anything, I don't know what's going on. All I do is sit and wonder what happened to the people I knew, what happened to the things we used to do, what happened?  All I do anymore is homework, sleep, and watch tv.  I keep saying that when golf is over I'll have more time to go out and do things, but I know that I won't.  It just doesn't feel the same.  I don't know what's happened.  I mean, this is college; I should be going out and having fun, right?  But Centre feels weird.  The people feel different, distant.  Maybe I'm imagining it.  Maybe this really is Centre C.  Maybe it always has been.

I am sick again. Yup. And Ashton's coming to visit tomorrow. What's with this always being sick before I see him?!?!

I have two tests tomorrow. Back to back.
I need to do laundry tonight.
My room is a mess.
I want to watch TV.
I'm on lots of drugs. Some make me dizzy.
I would like a shower, too.

What I Am: crappy

We have a Light Brite in our room now. Life is good.

Yes, I still have a livejournal. No, I don't write in it often. It's hard to keep up with things during golf. I'm sorry. People I like who are in other countries: I will try to read and reply to your posts more often.

Other than that life is pretty good right now. Emily and I are watching a movie, I was reading a magazine and doinga crossword and she is cross-stitching something. It's better than studying.

I've lost my livejournal writing abilities.

I'm not sure how it's already a week before classes start. This is crazy. What happened to the summer?? There are so many things I need to do before I can even think about coming back to campus. My car is falling apart and I won't have time to fix it. That sucks. I have a cavity that hurts, so I'm about to call the dentist and see if he can squeeze me in sometime this week. I have little things to finish up, too, and let's not forget the whole packing thing. I still haven't sufficiently unpacked from France, but packing for school seems a bit more ominous right now. Seriously, packing and unpacking are two of my least favorite things ever. I'm sick of working and babysitting, but I still have four days of work left and one day of babysitting. There is so much to do that I'd better stop bitching about all the stuff and go out and start doing it.

I haven't been keeping up with this thing very well. I haven't kept up with much of anything lately. I've just been exhausted for the most part.

I have been working so much I feel like something's wrong on my days off because I'm not at the pool. Of course, my days off are spent babysitting my cousin's 18 month old son. So on my days off I have to be at her house at 7:30 am. One good thing about when school starts is that I will get to sleep in 4 days a week. Too bad for that 8:00 MWF.

There was so much I wanted to do this summer that I never got around to doing. I fully intended to read about 3 times the number of books I did read. I wanted to see more people, do more with the ones I rarely see. I really did intend to play more golf, but then when it came down to it, I just didn't want to at all. I meant to spend less money than I did. I meant to be more productive. Basically all I did was make my work ethic less effective than it was before, and right in time for the second half of college to start.

I'm not sure how this semester is going to go for me. I mean, taking 3 110 classes could go either way. And I'll be that weird junior who's in all the freshman classes. Yay for me. Melissa is supposed to be in my only other class (which is only a 230 class and my only class for my major... I don't know how my advisor agreed to this), but she wants to switch out. I'm not going to know anyone in any of my classes, but whatever. And Mary Bess isn't going to be on campus this fall. I'm not sure how this semester is going to shape up. Fortunately I'll have a good roommate, even if I do drive her crazy with planning before we even get to school. It's going to be hard going back to campus after being in France, but I'm looking forward to it, too. Maybe a good change is in order. However, I'll try to make more trips back to Bowling Green this year.

Well, it's 1:00, I have to be at work in two hours, I have errands to run and need to fix lunch. So, until soon...

So I'm slightly concerned. I just checked my golf schedule against the academic schedule, and it seems that I probably won't get a fall break this year. I don't get a centre term break, I don't get spring break, and now I probably won't get fall break. See, the Monday and Tuesday after fall break is our last tournament, so chances are pretty good that Coach is going to want us all on campus. So there goes the only break I actually got to enjoy.

Housesitting is over for good. It's going to be weird being home for a month straight.

I'll get several hours of overtime this week. That's exciting.

I got to tell a man off at the swim meet Saturday. He wouldn't leave the team area, so I went to ask him to leave and he said, "Honey, Sweetie, this is public property. I can sit wherever I want." Yes, an adult said that. But I said, "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're on private property. This is a private club. And as an employee I am asking you to move." He said, "When I got here this deck was covered with little red berries and I went down and got a broom and swept it off. It should have been clean when we got here." So I said, "First of all it stormed last night. Second, no one asked you to sweep off the deck. And no one asked you to go into our tool room. Move." He didn't move at all until a male guard came and told him that if he didn't move he was calling the cops. Once Trevor got there the guy was more cooperative. More than the guy being an ass, it bothered me that he listened to a guy and not me. I'm a forceful person when I want to be. I'd be afraid of me.

So I realize that I don't get to update this journal very often, but blame it on my lack of internet access at my house-sitting locations this summer. Fortunately I am only two days away from completing this job; my cousin comes home Wednesday. But before you celebrate my good fortune, let me catch you up on all that has happened while I've been staying in the house that hates me.

- I have killed the power... 4 times.
- I have electrocuted myself. It seriously hurts.
- I have come home to blaring fire alarms. 7 firefighters and a big truck came to visit me.
- Somehow the hot water has quit working.
- I have killed two plants.
- I came home one night to realize that the table on the back deck was knocked over and broken.
- The bird was almost eaten by the cat.

Anyway, two days and I will no longer be responsible for these things.

In other news, Phil gave me some really sweet Japanese shoes that I can't remember the name of, but I'm excited about them. I really don't know when I'll get to wear them, but they're authentic, being hand-me-downs from his grandmother I think. They're sort of difficult to walk in and they're really small, but that just makes them more awesome. Maybe Phil will read this and tell me what they're called. Or maybe Mary Bess will know.